Birthday Girl!

Yay, it’s my birthday!

So I had no plans for my day, was just hanging out at home, but my mom would hear none of that!

She told me to get my booty outta the house and get some alone time in at the beach. I hemmed and hawed but finally got into gear and was off.

All I have to say is: Thanks, Mom. Genius plan.

 

I also stopped to grab myself some birthday lunch (T-dragon roll for the win). All in all not a bad birthday if I do say so myself.

 

Came home to some surprises left on my doorstep! Nothing like flowers to make a girl feel a little better about getting older!

From my darling husband. Man I love me some tulips! They are just starting to open and are beautiful.

Also got some sweets:

 

 

Mckenna was confused by the box. It said on the side: ‘contents may disappear after opening’.

From my mom I got some fabulously fragrant lilies.

 

Every time I have fresh flowers in my house I ask myself why I don’t have fresh flowers more often. (And then of course realize it’s because they are way too expensive!)

So even though it just ended up being me and the kids for my birthday, it was a pretty good day. Looking forward to next year when I’ll have my husband home to celebrate with.

Blah

So.

I’m kinda sorta in a HUGE funk right now. And I can’t shake it.

I don’t want to do anything, housework, cooking, leaving my house, I just want to stay home in my cocoon and be pissed off.

So to ensure that I actually get out of the house as well as hopefully get me in a better frame of mind, I have been scheduling the shit out of myself. PTA, fundraisers, Humane Society, dog sitting, Family Readiness Group, training, lunches, playdates, coffee, football. Anything so that I am not sitting at home thinking about how much longer I am going to be alone.

This sucks.

This wasn’t in my plan for Hawaii. We were going to explore the island together. I had so many more spots that I wanted to go to as a family and as a couple. We never made it to a luau and I won’t go to one without him now because that is something I want to do together.

I haven’t snorkeled since he left. That was our thing, man. Something that he found out he totally loved to do and something we loved to do together.

I was chatting with him tonight and mentioned how much they had done and he said something along the lines of it hardly matters. Which I understand. I mean what we still have left is more than a normal deployment, we have MONTHS to go before we even have a normal deployment left!

And I am angry. And sad. I feel cheated out of my time with my husband. Time that we were supposed to have together as a family. Part of it is the lack of warning or warm up time, it was so, so sudden. Part of it is the shear LENGTH! I don’t know how Army and Navy IA do this crap for a year. Over and over again.

I am just looking toward this sea of months left and thinking about everything that he is going to miss, and then he’ll be home and we’ll have to re-integrate which always sucks because he’ll feel like so much has changed since he was gone. And it will have changed, we’ll be different, the house will be different. And it’ll take time for us to get to the new normal after being separated for so long. I don’t want to deal with all that! We were in such an awesome space together as a couple and a family before he left.

Anyways. That is my vent. It’s not a unique one I know but this deployment has been particularly sucktastic.

So, pray for peace in the Middle East and all that, I want my man home.

End rant.

Thankful November {November 13}

Day #13

Today I am thankful for my flag football team. We had a practice tonight and had a bunch of rookies join as well. As much as I may have been burned out at the end of the season it was great to sprint (only the first few, then yuck), run routes and just shoot the shit with some really fun ladies. I stepped SO far out of my comfort zone when I joined the team and now I am SO happy I did.

Maybe I just need to join a commune…

Or not. I like my deodorant too much.

You may have gotten a taste of my earth-friendliness through these pages and I’m afraid the older I get, the worse I am going to be.

My husband and I were watching some Paul Rudd movie where he and his wife get stuck on a commune and he commented that he could totally see me doing something like that.

Living sustainably, off the land like that would be incredible. One thing I am really not happy with is the fact that we aren’t allowed to have chickens in this neighborhood. I am obsessed with chickens. And gardens. I am turning into a crazy person!

Two things today have made it even worse: my new cookbook and the show Doomsday Preppers.

Finally spent the last of my Barnes and Noble gift card my mom sent me for Mother’s Day (thanks mom!) on two books Homemade Pantry and Almost Amish (which I haven’t read yet). I’ve been trying to make as many of my kids snacks as possible or at least buying the big bag to reduce waste. This book just made so much sense to me. It’s beautifully written, I feel like I am sitting in her kitchen as she cooks, the pictures are stunning and the message is sincere. Making these types of foods is almost thrilling. You don’t HAVE to buy them. I am very excited to try to make cheese crackers. Crackers! Who makes their own crackers anymore?! I know. I have serious issues.

Secondly, I stumbled across the show Doomsday Preppers. Many of the people have a very different philosophy and mindset than I do, and just about everyone on the show is prepping for a different “end of the world as we know it” scenario. And while I don’t necessarily want a bunker, 150 rifles or 40 cases of Spam, I really like watching the stories about the people who are already trying to live as much off the grid as possible, in case there is suddenly no grid. So now I want an urban garden, milk goats and a rain collector. It’s an illness people!

So yeah, don’t be surprised if when my husband retires from the military in ten years I have talked him into buying a farm.

I don’t know if I should start on Almost Amish or go read Shopaholic to counteract my go green tendencies!

So, yeah, this happened…

 

I finally went to the doctor today to get my finger looked at. It was the same finger that I had jammed in our last game and I kept telling myself that I just needed to give it time to heal. Well it just wasn’t feeling any better, it was still swollen and every time I tried to straighten it or hit it on something it still hurt like hell.

So off to get it checked, got some x-rays taken, doc tells me that it’s fractured for sure, there is a chip somewhere. So just great. I have never broken anything in my life, but I guess a finger isn’t a bad bone to break! So all was fine up until I got turned over to a corpsman to have it splinted. He made sure that finger got as straight as possible. I. Almost. Died. And I have a pretty high pain tolerance. So now I’m all wrapped up for a few weeks, hopefully my finger is normal after this.

I will say, I never realized how much you use your ring finger until every time I try to use it, it hurts! I can’t put my hair up, type, wash dishes, open jars! It’s terrible! My husband told me I should send his ship a red cross message so he can come home and help me! I can’t do anything, I am broken!

End of the Season

So today was our last regular season game. We lost. Again. Really though I had SO much fun learning to play flag football with a great bunch of lhadies. We still have the playoffs/championship but that doesn’t start for a few weeks. Which is great because I jammed the hell out of my right ring finger on the VERY first play of the game today and it is killing me! It’s all bruised and swollen. Fabulous. One of those things that you don’t realize how much you use a body part until it’s injured. I can’t straighten it or bend it without it hurting. Even though I got hurt missing a flag and my hand hitting the ground I am still proud that I went for it. My whole life I have always been the girl that will not sacrifice her body for the ball. Nope, not me. And now I am regularly throwing myself after people and getting injured and banged up. I am loving it! At the ripe old age of 31 I am on a team for the first time in my life. Yes really. No sports really at all for me period. I’ve told people my whole life that I am not an athlete, I am a nerd. And while I am by no means the fastest or strongest out there, I am pulling my own weight and knocking some big girls on their butts out there!

I love being on the other side, I’ve always been the cheerleader (not literally, I mean that I am on the sidelines) of friends games, my husband’s games, my kids’ multiple multiple sports. I love that I have a team that counts on me to play a part. We have fun on and off the field.  It’s an interesting dynamic and I am glad that I finally did it. I have tried recruiting some of the other women I’ve met on the island to come play with me and it’s been a pretty resounding ‘no thanks, I’m not athletic’. But it’s so much more than just being in shape. I think joining a team is a great thing for every woman to try, especially moms because they very rarely ever have time ‘just for them’.

Off to nurse my poor finger and hopefully get a call from my husband! Another port visit equals LOTS of phone calls (ran out of skype credit yesterday, whoops!) I am trying to get him to ‘guest blog’ his port visits but he’s not too thrilled with the idea. Maybe if I can ever get the pictures I’ll post them!