Happy Anniversary to Us

 

So I had to dig out the wedding album for a little reminiscing on our anniversary. We generally don’t go too crazy celebrating it, maybe going out to dinner if I manage to find a babysitter. But this year (once again) we aren’t celebrating together. I wish I had kept a better calendar because I think we might have spent almost as many anniversaries apart as together!

I look back on these pictures of us taken so long ago at that cute little chapel on Ft. Belvoir and think, you dumb kids, you have no clue what you’re getting yourself into. We knew we loved each other and wasn’t that all there was to it?

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I wanted to marry you not long after I met you. You were quite that catch, good looking, funny as hell and you were just so solid. So there for me. We lived in each other’s pockets for two years before getting married, working together, hanging out almost every minute when we weren’t at work. We had so much fun. We still do thank goodness.

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We grew up together. We met at 18 and 20 respectively and now we are in our mid-thirties. I love having you as the witness to my life. I love making these incredible memories that we are going to be able to look back on after a lifetime of adventures.

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Happy Anniversary, I love you more than you know!

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Counting down

Well we now have less than a year left in Hawaii.
Just like when we were geting ready to leave Spain I am getting super sad and nostalgic before we even leave. It does feel like less time than that because Omar is deploying in late winter so we have to get all of out Hawaii to-do stuff done before he leaves.

I don’t want to go! I love, love, love it here. The weather, the people,  the food, the ocean, the mountains. 

So soon it will be decision time… where to go next. Of course it’s not like it is our decision entirely, the Navy will offer us a list of options and we will choose a few of those. We will either get one of them or have to try again next month.
Now staying on this ship IS an option but honestly not a real one. This command has been ROUGH. In the 3 years we will have been on this ship, Omar will have been underway or deployed for over half of it. We are ready to get away from this intense pace.
Omar would really like to get back to Virginia, he is ready to be back near family buy a house and settle down.
I am not ready to go back! I love and miss our family but I love living all over the world and can’t imagine living back on the mainland. 
Its just hard because Mckenna is going to be going into high school soon and I don’t want her to have to move in the middle of a school year then.
But as always I stress and make plans and the Navy will probably throw us another curveball!

What is your dream duty station?

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Happy Anniversary to Us!

 

Some of my favorite pictures from our wedding day. We couldn’t have asked for a more perfect fall day to get married. Really can’t believe that was eleven years ago. So happy to have the rest of our lives together. I love you baby.

 

Blah

So.

I’m kinda sorta in a HUGE funk right now. And I can’t shake it.

I don’t want to do anything, housework, cooking, leaving my house, I just want to stay home in my cocoon and be pissed off.

So to ensure that I actually get out of the house as well as hopefully get me in a better frame of mind, I have been scheduling the shit out of myself. PTA, fundraisers, Humane Society, dog sitting, Family Readiness Group, training, lunches, playdates, coffee, football. Anything so that I am not sitting at home thinking about how much longer I am going to be alone.

This sucks.

This wasn’t in my plan for Hawaii. We were going to explore the island together. I had so many more spots that I wanted to go to as a family and as a couple. We never made it to a luau and I won’t go to one without him now because that is something I want to do together.

I haven’t snorkeled since he left. That was our thing, man. Something that he found out he totally loved to do and something we loved to do together.

I was chatting with him tonight and mentioned how much they had done and he said something along the lines of it hardly matters. Which I understand. I mean what we still have left is more than a normal deployment, we have MONTHS to go before we even have a normal deployment left!

And I am angry. And sad. I feel cheated out of my time with my husband. Time that we were supposed to have together as a family. Part of it is the lack of warning or warm up time, it was so, so sudden. Part of it is the shear LENGTH! I don’t know how Army and Navy IA do this crap for a year. Over and over again.

I am just looking toward this sea of months left and thinking about everything that he is going to miss, and then he’ll be home and we’ll have to re-integrate which always sucks because he’ll feel like so much has changed since he was gone. And it will have changed, we’ll be different, the house will be different. And it’ll take time for us to get to the new normal after being separated for so long. I don’t want to deal with all that! We were in such an awesome space together as a couple and a family before he left.

Anyways. That is my vent. It’s not a unique one I know but this deployment has been particularly sucktastic.

So, pray for peace in the Middle East and all that, I want my man home.

End rant.