Thankful November {November 15}

Day #15

Today I am thankful for another birthday. It has been a wonderful year since my last birthday and I am looking forward to what the next year has in store!

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Thankful November {November 14}

Day #14

Today I am thankful for my sister, Steph. Now this is especially special because today happens to be her birthday! Happy Birthday to my one and only sister. Plans have been put into place for us to see each other soon and I’m pretty excited because it’s been over 2 years since we saw her last.

Blah

So.

I’m kinda sorta in a HUGE funk right now. And I can’t shake it.

I don’t want to do anything, housework, cooking, leaving my house, I just want to stay home in my cocoon and be pissed off.

So to ensure that I actually get out of the house as well as hopefully get me in a better frame of mind, I have been scheduling the shit out of myself. PTA, fundraisers, Humane Society, dog sitting, Family Readiness Group, training, lunches, playdates, coffee, football. Anything so that I am not sitting at home thinking about how much longer I am going to be alone.

This sucks.

This wasn’t in my plan for Hawaii. We were going to explore the island together. I had so many more spots that I wanted to go to as a family and as a couple. We never made it to a luau and I won’t go to one without him now because that is something I want to do together.

I haven’t snorkeled since he left. That was our thing, man. Something that he found out he totally loved to do and something we loved to do together.

I was chatting with him tonight and mentioned how much they had done and he said something along the lines of it hardly matters. Which I understand. I mean what we still have left is more than a normal deployment, we have MONTHS to go before we even have a normal deployment left!

And I am angry. And sad. I feel cheated out of my time with my husband. Time that we were supposed to have together as a family. Part of it is the lack of warning or warm up time, it was so, so sudden. Part of it is the shear LENGTH! I don’t know how Army and Navy IA do this crap for a year. Over and over again.

I am just looking toward this sea of months left and thinking about everything that he is going to miss, and then he’ll be home and we’ll have to re-integrate which always sucks because he’ll feel like so much has changed since he was gone. And it will have changed, we’ll be different, the house will be different. And it’ll take time for us to get to the new normal after being separated for so long. I don’t want to deal with all that! We were in such an awesome space together as a couple and a family before he left.

Anyways. That is my vent. It’s not a unique one I know but this deployment has been particularly sucktastic.

So, pray for peace in the Middle East and all that, I want my man home.

End rant.

Thankful November {November 13}

Day #13

Today I am thankful for my flag football team. We had a practice tonight and had a bunch of rookies join as well. As much as I may have been burned out at the end of the season it was great to sprint (only the first few, then yuck), run routes and just shoot the shit with some really fun ladies. I stepped SO far out of my comfort zone when I joined the team and now I am SO happy I did.

Maybe I just need to join a commune…

Or not. I like my deodorant too much.

You may have gotten a taste of my earth-friendliness through these pages and I’m afraid the older I get, the worse I am going to be.

My husband and I were watching some Paul Rudd movie where he and his wife get stuck on a commune and he commented that he could totally see me doing something like that.

Living sustainably, off the land like that would be incredible. One thing I am really not happy with is the fact that we aren’t allowed to have chickens in this neighborhood. I am obsessed with chickens. And gardens. I am turning into a crazy person!

Two things today have made it even worse: my new cookbook and the show Doomsday Preppers.

Finally spent the last of my Barnes and Noble gift card my mom sent me for Mother’s Day (thanks mom!) on two books Homemade Pantry and Almost Amish (which I haven’t read yet). I’ve been trying to make as many of my kids snacks as possible or at least buying the big bag to reduce waste. This book just made so much sense to me. It’s beautifully written, I feel like I am sitting in her kitchen as she cooks, the pictures are stunning and the message is sincere. Making these types of foods is almost thrilling. You don’t HAVE to buy them. I am very excited to try to make cheese crackers. Crackers! Who makes their own crackers anymore?! I know. I have serious issues.

Secondly, I stumbled across the show Doomsday Preppers. Many of the people have a very different philosophy and mindset than I do, and just about everyone on the show is prepping for a different “end of the world as we know it” scenario. And while I don’t necessarily want a bunker, 150 rifles or 40 cases of Spam, I really like watching the stories about the people who are already trying to live as much off the grid as possible, in case there is suddenly no grid. So now I want an urban garden, milk goats and a rain collector. It’s an illness people!

So yeah, don’t be surprised if when my husband retires from the military in ten years I have talked him into buying a farm.

I don’t know if I should start on Almost Amish or go read Shopaholic to counteract my go green tendencies!

Thankful November {November 12}

Day #12

Today I am thankful I live in Hawaii. Yes it can be hard to be far from family but I just love it here. Its beautiful.